Mind, Body and Soul ♥

Well, I'm still in a weird rut but I have to say I'm pretty proud of myself and how far I've come...Finally graduated from college and now have two degrees, have a successful little bakery, and am actually in a healthy, adult relationship (lol). Go me! :)
Now this Summer my goal is to fill my days with three main things, Bible Study (completing my studies of each verse of the bible), continuing my pursuit of learning (making a dent in my huge to do list of novels to read, including the 100 greatest novels of all time and taking Spanish classes), and getting back in shape.
♥

missed me!?

Well, it's been awhile since I've posted but seriously I'm majorly boring lately and I'm not sure anyone even reads this blog so.... ;)I should be over the moon with life lately, especially compared to a few years ago, where I was struggling with money, stressed all the time, dealing with dating, etc but I really have been in a rut. I'm very happy with my relationship, of course there are bumps and bruises, but he really is the perfect guy for me...let's face it I'm not the easiest person to deal with! I'm beyond happy with the unexpected turn in my life where my baking actually became a business. I love my home and my little family, and even am somewhat content with being back in Cruces. Yet, I can't shake the rut or this impending big 3-5 birthday coming up fast. I'm like middle aged almost and I thought I would have life all figured out by now and to be honest I'm more clueless then ever!! I'm baffled by people, heartbroken by friends and feeling so bitter and alone...I don't have a clue what I want to be when I grow up and just keep wasting time and money on school and need buckets of money to actually do what I want-open a bakery...I am extremely unhealthy or atleast I feel like I am...BLAH!!

This about sums up this year! ;)

I'm so ready for a new year filled with change and promise!! Already started making some changes personally, making amends with people and figuring out what I want the future to hold! Go ME!! :)

Snow days make me happy!!

I've decided to let go of grudges, hurt feelings, stubbornness and forgive and move on with some friendships. People are people and will never live up to my "expectations" so I can either accept it and keep some really good friends (flaws and all) or be alone. I decided today to choose the first because honestly this year has sucked without some of my friends. I went to the extreme this year of not letting people affect me, not take me for granted, not being on call for them; it was nice to take that stand and I think mellowed my high maintenance side a little and taught me a lot but it was also very lonely and disheartening. So 2012 will be the year I hopefully find the balance and as usual continue the growth of me! :)

“Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving.” ~Dale Carnegie

2011

Well once again, another year is wrapping up...I have to say this one has not been the best (not the worse either). A lot of changes as usual with people, another year trying to finish up school even though I am massively burnt out, some rocky moments, some Vanessa blues, and an unexpected gift of starting my baking business. All I can do is take time to learn from the good and the bad of the year and hope that next year is better! I love NYE, it's a chance to start all over! :) Maybe this year I'll actually do my New Year's resolutions!!

wedding bells..

After a lot of changes and some turmoil, I have finally decided to enjoy the wedding process again! First on the list is postponing the wedding until October, that way I'm done with school and less stressed. Let the craziness begin... ;)

Checklist:
Wedding Date: October 6, 2012
{New} Save the dates
Wedding Party
Dress
Location
Flowers
Cake (done by me)
Guest List
Invitations
Catering

...did I forget anything??

I'm in desperate need of some change in my life....preferably in a move! Stupid school is taking forever to end!!

2011...

I had some weird dreams last night that lingered when I woke up. It made me think about this year, how bitter-sweet it has been. I have had some major changes in the friendship area, this is something I know happens throughout life, people change, people grow apart, people drift apart simply because of lack of trying, etc but I will never get use to it. It hurts because I thought I had finally come to a solid, true friend core of people and have been shocked by how things have turned out with some of them. It really is like losing a family member for me. And honestly I am an extremely social person, I thrive off of people (good or bad) so this year has been that much harder. I have become a huge homebody and don't seem to have much of a social life anymore, some of that is personal choice and some because of the changes in friendships. I also am struggling with a major Vanessa funk I've been in, I'm not really sure why.
On to the sweet, I am almost done with school and am so proud of myself for finishing this degree. I also had the amazing surprise of having my baking business start and take off...there are no words to express how surreal it is to be baking for a career and even better to have rave reviews! I also am so blessed to have, through thick and thin, a boyfriend that is perfect for me. I would have never thought I would end up with him but am so glad.

Currently reading:

As you can tell I'm a total cake nerd so this is like my fourth food book...I love the concept though, reading how other people chucked it all to follow their real passion and you can't beat the recipes. As I type, I have Banana bread with chocolate chips and crystallized ginger in the oven!

Halloween!!

I know it's not even October but yes my house is already Halloween decorated! I know, I know but I couldn't wait any longer!! :)

These are orange string lights with Halloween cupcake liners I placed over them...LOVE!

have cake, will travel...or maybe not!

Went on my first cake traveling adventure this weekend and it was crazy! I literally baked all day Friday, and I'm OLD now so felt like I might die at the end of the night. Then after like five hours of sleep, drove my happy ass to Abq to rush (and stress!) to try to get all the frosting's made and the cake's decorated...um yeah! I was almost in tears the whole time! The rest of the night was a fine balance between exhaustion, drinking, more frosting, and trying to see friends. I went on to get an HOUR of sleep, then drove my not so happy ass to Santa Fe, then finally and forever later came home. Overall, the trip was a success, everyone seemed to love their orders, I got paid (even got a tip), had a blast seeing everyone (even if it was way to rushed) and even got to stock up on wine at Trader Joe's....I did have some epic cupcake failures! My first batch failed miserably and took away two of my precious hours of baking, then my last batch was an attempt at German Chocolate and it failed bad (TWICE), then on my last delivery TWO cupcake boxes overturned and took at two dozen cupcakes and my Kitchen Aid mixer bowl BROKE!
All I can say is I'm exhausted but am so glad I did this, some of my prettiest cupcakes came out of this trip and it was definitely a learning experience!!!

current read

So this week is going to be a Busy, crazy week...my first cupcake all nighter, Abq trip to deliver 14 dozen cupcakes, Zoey turns three, Monday night football, and oh yeah school (three quizzes and three papers due)....but on top of that I am pleased to announce that I have been reading every night! I have a pile of books on my to do list, including joining a book club where we are working our way through the Harry Potter series. I am also going to start reading...

I am very excited about my new discovery of food books, which combines my two loves. The last book I read actually had recipes intertwined in the book! This book reminds me of my life this year, starting over and doing what I really love which is baking.

{quote}

"Ask most people what they want from life and the answer is simple..to be happy. Maybe its this expectation though that just keeps us from getting there. Maybe the more we try and will ourselves to states of bliss the more confused we get, to the point where we don't recognize ourselves. Instead we just keep smiling, trying like hell to be the happy people we wish we were until eventually it hits us, its been there all along..not in our dreams or hopes but in the known, the comfortable, the familiar." ~Grey's Anatomy

Vanessa/Martha challenge is on...I made Lemon Meringue cupcakes this week. They were good but not my fav, kinda messy to eat and a lot of work. Lemon cake, lemon curd and 7 minute frosting all made by hand....I must say the frosting was the hardest since I don't have a candy thermometer so I played it by ear and not sure if it came out right. Everyone seemed to enjoy them so guess that's what counts...I must say I love the challenges though!

This weekend I have a Cars themed order so am making Martha's Marble cupcakes...two done! :)

Martha, Martha, Martha

So I have failed my Julie/Julia attempt...so busy and let's be honest I am obsessed with cupcakes! Now that I am getting so many orders, I long for the random days when I get to just bake for fun...no pressure, no stress, no doubting myself. {I am crazy hard on myself!!} So, to accommodate both, I have moved my Martha following to her cupcake book, atleast for now! I will attempt to make everything in her cupcake book and will post about it! Yay! I have already done some without even knowing it and had planned on doing Lemon Meringue today, so the order I make them will be random.
It doesn't get better then Martha Stewart and Cupcakes!!

This could be an epic failure or could be a huge business change but I have decided to take my cupcakes on the road, well at least to Albuquerque/Santa Fe. I have 12 dozen orders...not bad for a day trip!

{quote}

There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single, flashing, throbbing moment.
… Sarah Dessen

Most profess to want love - to give it & to receive it - but few believe in doing what is necessary to nurture & sustain that love.
… Zane

Our real discoveries come from chaos, from going to the place that looks wrong and stupid and foolish.
… Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters

In real-life fairy tales, you can define who you are for yourself and, as a result, choose your ending; you don’t really need someone to save you, just someone who can let you save yourself.

Julie/Julia challenge

I want to do a Julie/Julia thing but with Martha....I'm going to do her Baking Handbook. So the challenge I'm presenting myself is once a week bake from her book and will start from page one and go all the way through, trying everything, no matter what it is. This might be crazy, especially with my schedule and my diet but I love the idea, the experience I will gain, and the building of my baking resume.