I am action pact with issues!

I am so not good at staying in one place, whether its a town or a job or a relationship, and I am definitely not good when life is calm. What is wrong with me?! I feel all restless and un-content right now, like I need something to happen...which is really dumb because for the most part I actually am happy with my life.

boy update....

Okay I have yet another boy update...I have dated a lot of boys and had some very interesting experiences but so far the worst thing a boy has said to me, other then when I was bar-tending, was "I'll let you suck it!"...but the new boy takes the cake! First his penis was ALWAYS out..and seriously I'm not exaggerating. We wouldn't even be close to having sex and out comes the penis, despite countless protests from me..but then after I said we could only be friends because I was tired of seeing the penis, he asked if we could be sex friends. All I can do is laugh because seriously who does that!!!
And my ex that proposed is back, sent me a text that said "I wanna try again."...
And this guy, R, that I met in McAllen, TX when I was there for work last year, wants to buy me a ticket to fly there and see him because he really misses me...
And I have a date next week with a very promising boy that makes me laugh...

Nothing better then hearing from several people, "Have you lost weight?". :)

I'm sad today which is weird because I really have been feeling better about my life and the people in it, even despite another stupid boy full of bs. But today one of my bests moved away and we have always had ups and downs but just knowing she was here gave me comfort...and I've been thinking about boys and love a lot lately. I never wanted to settle down, until one day I just was and then went on too three big ones, now I want to find real love and settle down..yet last year I started dating again and its been a disaster, and the quality of men now seems horrible. And I'm starting to get older and feel like I'm losing my Vanessa touch (guys used to instantly love me and I couldn't get them to go away and now they don't even look back, one guy even asked me to just be his sex friend) and I'm starting to feel like something's wrong with me. I have found great guys and been proposed to several times yet I'm alone because I screw it up...I'm so afraid of love, of being left but the ironic part is that they wouldn't leave if I didn't make it happen.
I just don't even know what I want or what I'm doing anymore, which I know is even more reason that I need to just be alone and continue working on myself...but fuck it sucks, that what I want is what I can't have right now...and I am not a patient girl!
**Oh and I'm in love with Sex and the City...I know it's a show and not real but makes me feel normal and better about being thirty and single and a hot mess. :)
“When you're young, your whole life is about the pursuit of fun. Then, you grow up and learn to be cautious. You could break a bone or a heart. You look before you leap and sometimes you don't leap at all because there's not always someone there to catch you. And in life, there's no safety net. When did it stop being fun and start being scary?”

{quote}

"What would you do if you weren't afraid?"

interesting info..

So I have been doing this detox tea for a month and its great because you can still eat and the tea cleanses you out every day. However I realized this week, after a lot of drink dates, that it tells your body when you have had too much crap in your system and your stomach hurts. So guess I officially have to cut back on the outings, which is good for my stomach, my wallet, and school but not so much fun for me or my social life...

There has been a lot of changes in my life lately, good and bad, but I am really happy with how things turned out and I love the people in my life and the direction I'm headed in life!