boys...

Okay here is a recap on the boys of 2009:

Boy #1: G and I met at Sbarro in 2008 when I moved back to Cruces, we had an instant connection on every level but we combined too much-friendship, love, sex, working together-and eventually it exploded into a very volatile relationship. He proposed but I wasn't ready..we tried to still be friends after the proposal but it didn't work, which is heartbreaking but....
Boy #2: E and I met at McAlister's and had a great friendship, instantly drawn to each other. We went to McAllen, TX together to open a store and one drunken night, he declared his feelings for me BUT he had a serious live in girlfriend at home who he said he would leave to be with me, even talked about moving from Abq for me. We both decided this was not good and should just be friends but of course he couldn't do that...and I found out a few months later that his gf was pregnant!
Boy #3: R is another boy I met through McAllister's when I went to McAllen. He declared his feelings one drunken night (which upsets me, hello have the balls to say how you feel sober!) and got mad at me for the relationship with E and not picking him. We have stayed in touch since and he constantly asks me to go see him but Idk how I feel about him and the distance...
Boy #4: P and I reconnected on FB but have known each other since middle school. We talked for weeks, just talking and it was soooo good. I haven't had a crush in forever. But he has major issues with girls and I as usual am a high maintenance, needy mess and was too much for him. :(
Boy #5: C and I met through a friend and he was completely random, covered in tattoos, a total boys boy, completely unattached from people but we started dating and it was like dating myself (the running and pushing). More happened but way too personal..I will say that it was the worst I've ever been treated!
Boy #6: A and I met at Sbarro..he is 19! I know, I know..way too young but he is so cute and sweet and honestly more mature and forth-right with his feelings then most older guys..he would even write me poetry! So he would constantly ask and plan on marrying me but we have just maintained a friendship, for the most part....
Boy #7: D and I met through the daycare and he is completely not my type-25, not attractive, inexperienced, poor people skills but we started talking as friends and then it became more. I adored him and thought for a moment he could be the one but he didn't know how to be a boyfriend, especially to a high maintenance girl, and the maturity level is amazing. And as usual when things start to get serious I freak out and start doing my back and forth bs..so at the end he told me "I like everything about you except the back and forth." We had a mutual break up, which was sad and a waste but it wasn't a bad break up and no reason for us too not be friendly. He hasn't spoken too me since, acts like he hates me and has thrown me away like I'm disposable...its the worse feeling in the world. I usually can't get boys to leave me, the majority of them stalk me, and here is this guy that actually left and made it look so easy. I'm still sad about him...
Boy #8: E is a guy from high school that I reconnected with on FB and I am smitten with him..so cute, great personality, makes me laugh, great connection and after all this time still knows me so well. Negative is that he doesn't live here but we talk all the time...we shall see what happens with this one..
Boy #9: M is a guy from Sbarro who I consider a friend but I know he wants more..we started being pen pals and actually writing letters to each other and have gotten close, he sends me flowers, and we hung out for Xmas Eve but I really am not attracted to him and just see a friendship...unfortunately I don't think he's OK with that.
Boy #10: B is a random guy from FB that requested me and normally I don't add people I don't know but for some reason I did with him...we started talking and had this amazing 4 hour conversation, where we shared everything! But he freaked out and became shady so we stopped talking, then a few weeks later he apologized and we have been talking again but I'm not feeling it anymore other then friendship.
Boy #11: D is actually friends with #8 and requested me on FB. This boy was soooo lovely, everything I'm looking for and we talked for a few weeks but he's 25 and immature and came on way too strong sexually. Its great that you are so attracted to me but seriously are we 12 and can't keep our penis in our pants!! So he said at the end that he wanted to start over and actually get to know me but BS!
Boy #12: D is a guy I met at a NYE party, that was #5's friends party, and we hung out all night and kissed at midnight. He asked for my number but nothing has come of it...I'm more interested right now in being alone!

All of these guys, minus a few, have been random boys that I settled for, that should have never been let in. I did however learn more from these little relationships then from my big ones, especially from #5.