So I have been reflecting on myself and why I am such a relationship disaster, why I feel the need to push and run...and yeah no answers. What's worse is that I know what I do and yet I keep doing it..and I thought I was finally starting to learn from my past failed relationships and the fact that I do the same thing in all of them, but no, still doing it with A. I don't know if it's that I can't settle down because I think the grass is greener somewhere else or if I am so afraid of love and being left (daddy issues) that I make it happen or if I'm just a loony..IDK! Luckily I have great friends that help, I have a fab boy that's willing to put up with me and wait for me to figure it out, and that I'm not that stubborn that I'm not willing to get help.

So excited, Brandy and I are doing a cake decorating class on Tuesdays, starts next week! This is my passion and I get to do it with a great friend. :)

Summer school is kinda scary but I love it..it's like wham bam thank you mam. lol
I am questioning if I'm the settling down type..I have everything I've every wanted in a relationship yet I still feel the need to flee, to find things wrong with it so I can create drama. Seriously what is wrong with me?
This weekend has been fun, spending time with bf and a best, Christina...had date/game night Friday and then yesterday went to Silver City for the Blues Fest, and tomorrow going to the wine fest. :)

Summer is officially here and I am feeling gross and fat and blah....I am in major need of boot camp and motivation and a major health kick in the butt!
And school starts tomorrow so June is the month to get it together!!

randomness..

Here are some random Vanessa facts:

~I am a very anal planner and get very annoyed with flaky people.
~I am a complex beyond measure.
~I secretly hate when no one likes or comments on my Facebook status.
~I have an addictive personality, like chapstick and lotion, naps, sweets, socializing, tv..
~I consider my bests my family, which is why I take friendships so seriously.
~I hate people yet crave them and in some ways am run by them..what they do/don't do, what they think of me, etc.
~I am a moody bitch..maybe even bi-polar.
~I am a animal person, can't not have a dog.
~I am obsessed with taking pictures.
~I have had a million people come and go in the last thirty years and wonder if you ever really know someone, if I'll ever find people that will never go away.
~I've struggled with money all my life.
~I am so lazy.
~I am my own worst enemy.
~I'm a control freak.
~Shopping does equal happiness.
~I have created my blog around Bluntcards. ;)
~I do in fact think the world revolves around me, hence why when I was little I thought fireworks were for me and why for most of my life I lived in a Vanessa bubble.
~I am so competitive, especially when it comes to board games.

This weekend Zoey got her first Starbucks..the lady gave her a dog treat and it was like dog crack, she even tore the cup apart after she wanted more so badly. Tonight she drank the ice from my tea, her eyes closed licking away in Starbucks bliss.

the weekend...

Was way over-booked for Saturday and then everyone ended up flaking.. stupid people! Ugh!!
But today went to the lake, just A and Zoey and I....it was Zoey's first trip and she is soooo cute! But so sad to see how abused she was, that she can't just be a regular dog. She would only go into the water if we held her paws. Great day trip though! :)