lol

This has been a horrible week and once again, when I think I have a set schedule it all goes to shit so I'm starting all over with life...but a new year is an opportunity to change and hit the "reset" button. I don't know whats next for me but school started this week and I'll be more then busy with that, which is great right now because I've been feeling sad and restless, no boys too distract me! I feel good though, I'm going to enjoy being alone and spending some much needed time on the improvement of Vanessa!

favs..

A few of my favorite things in life...coming home to Zoey and seeing how happy she is too see me, the smell of rain, snow!, getting flowers, a great book, getting into bed with newly washed sheets, chapstick, talking to my bests, a great tv show, listening to music, facebook comments, Coach, wine, kissing, hugs, baking, getting new recipes, chocolate, naps, board games, laughing until you cry...

Day One of detox diet.

lost in life...

I made a huge life changing decision to leave a real career to go back to school so I know that I'm in a period of transition but fuck I feel so lost in life right now..I'm getting old and I don't know what I'm doing or what I want, I'm still single, even more clueless about people and life..

People suck.

As I think back on all the people that have come and gone from my life, its a very rough feeling. I feel like I give a piece of myself to everyone I get close too..I'm a talker, an open book who has a tendency to share too much. I'd like to think that I'm picky about who I let in but in reality I'm not..I see the best in people, I make them my family..my experience has taught me that most people don't deserve it. So now I'm stuck with trying to find the balance between not becoming jaded and reserving what I share and who I share it with..because honestly this year has made me lose a lot of faith in people and I'm becoming numb. And my tolerance of BS has reached its limit.

New Years Resolution..

I have decided that 2010 will be the year of me! I'm going to focus on the betterment of Vanessa.. school, getting healthy, finding out who I am and what I really want..and definitely not letting boys muddle my life or my focus.