friendship.

Being needy and high-maintenance and having a fear of being left has made me think friendship means talking/seeing one another on a constant basis, if I don't have that reassurance I think you don't love me and question the friendship...I have finally realized that real friends are always there, it doesn't matter the distance or the space. You can call them when things are bad and they are always there, you can talk after weeks and it's like it's been a minute since you've talked.
Maybe getting older and wiser, not such a bad thing! ;)


“Long distance relationships are like wind to a fire; it puts out the small ones, but inflames the big ones.”

Life is just stupid...ugh, having the worst week and it started Friday and is not getting better.
So the best way to cure a horrible, rotten no good day is to do a whole lot of nothing...eating fattening yummies and watching tv ALL day!

Day one!!

Tomorrow is day one of Slim in Six...I need to stick to it, soooo tired of feeling fat and gross (I swear it looks like I'm having twins!).
Go Vanessa Go!!!

Had a great, drinking filled weekend in Abq with Desiree. All I need to re-group is a bestie. It was her birthday so we had a Mad Hatter themed party.

On a different subject..there's a quote that says never give up on love, but is that true or do you eventually have to walk away because it's the best thing for you and your future, because sometimes people don't deserve chances....

New shoes!

I decided to try something different and have been in a yellow mood, so here's my new shoes!


"Hey, I put some new shoes on and suddenly everything's right!" ~Paolo Nutini

I am loving life right now...not working for the summer since summer school is crazy, it is awesome!! I of course can only pull it off for a few months, one because I live above my means and two because I'd get bored. But for now, I get to stay up late and play and then sleep in late, screw around all day in my lovely ac house with no worries..yay!

So I have been reflecting on myself and why I am such a relationship disaster, why I feel the need to push and run...and yeah no answers. What's worse is that I know what I do and yet I keep doing it..and I thought I was finally starting to learn from my past failed relationships and the fact that I do the same thing in all of them, but no, still doing it with A. I don't know if it's that I can't settle down because I think the grass is greener somewhere else or if I am so afraid of love and being left (daddy issues) that I make it happen or if I'm just a loony..IDK! Luckily I have great friends that help, I have a fab boy that's willing to put up with me and wait for me to figure it out, and that I'm not that stubborn that I'm not willing to get help.