This has been one of those weeks where you say FML...hoping it gets better with the trip to Abq this weekend. I am looking forward to Feb and all that is planned. I just need to get on track with money and school...this semester is crazy and I can't seem to get my barrings.
I am definitely learning to rely on myself and faith, to take the bad and not over-react so much, and to be alone...a whole month without boys!

This is my quote..."I have always depended on the kindness of strangers." I don't want it to sound like I'm not independent, because I am and have had the unfortunate luck of not having a strong family base so really throughout my life I depend on myself..But I do and always have, turned to the opposite sex for support when life gets hard. Boys always are around and willing to help so...
Is that bad? I do think it gets me into quite a lot of trouble and adventures..hence the one I just got myself into... :/

a night out...

Last night was my first night out all month and true to form, it was very interesting and a little bit scary!
Went to class and then met Christina at Vintage Winery to hear a friend play...such a great time! Drinking wine, catching up with a best, sitting in the cold, and listening to beautiful music. Then we decided to go to El Patio and yeah completely random people and band...and this guy hit on me. He seemed normal, distinguished, older and handsome, good conversation but no he was weird and gave a "I'll kill you when alone with you" vibe..AND he was with random people, it was like a mob! Seriously I was afraid!

To Vegan or not to Vegan??

So I used to be almost a Vegan and I loved it...I hate the way animals are treated for our purposes and you just have to read one PETA article and will never look at food the same. I stopped when I moved to Abq. but have been seriously reconsidering it again, especially after watching Food, Inc and Dr. Oz. I am going to do the Dr. Oz' Vegan diet for a month and then probably go to being a vegetarian.
I feel so good about this year and the changes I'm going to make! I started with school, then boys, then health and now going back to being a Vegan...This is going to be a good, productive year for me and I'm loving me and all I have to offer. :)

January...

So far January has been very boring and drama free..I am trying to be good and be a home-body and be boy free. It's good but at the same time I don't do well with this...I feel restless!! lol

I've been sad about the people that have left my life recently but then I realized I have people that miss me on a daily basis, that fight to keep me around and those other people become irrelevant and obviously were not real friends. Its hard for me though because I don't have a family so people that I let in become my family, which is why realtionships are so important to me, why I give pieces of myself to them...but apparently its not that important to other people. I don't think I'll ever become numb to this horrible part of life-letting people in, become close, and then one day they are just gone....
I fall in love with people too easily.

Jewel - Stronger Woman Lyrics:

I guess you could say I'm one of those girls
That's always been with one of those guys
You know the type
Like right now, he sleeps while I write
But it's better than crying
I'm worn out from trying
From loving a man who always makes it clear
I'm not welcome here
Just till he's horny and hungry
or needs something cleaned
And you know what I mean

But not tonight
'Cause come the morning light, oh
I'm gonna love myself more than anyone else
Believe in me, even if someone can't see
The stronger woman in me

I'm going to be my own best friend
Stick with me till the end
Won't lose myself again, never, no,
'Cause there's a stronger woman,
A stronger woman in me

Light bulbs buzz,
I get up
And head to my drawer
I wish there was more
I could say
Another fairytale fades to gray
I've lived on hope
Just like a child
Walking that mile
Faking that smile
All the while
Wishing my heart had wings

Well tonight, I'm going to be
The kind of woman I'd want my daughter to be, oh

This is me, packing up my bags
And this is me, headed for the door
And this is me, the best you ever had
I'm going to love myself
More than anyone else
Believe in me even if someone cannot see
There's a stronger woman in me
I'm going to be my own best friend
Stay with me till the end
Won't lose myself again, never, no
'Cause there's a stronger woman
A stronger woman
There's a stronger woman,
A stronger woman in me.