currently reading...

I am continuing with Gregory Maguire and now reading Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister. I loved Wicked, the whole inside version of a beloved classic but focused on the "bad" guy, so am excited for this one based on Cinderella.

So May is right around the corner, which means this year is almost half over! 2010 has been good, boring, life changing, enlightening, dis-tractable...honestly I don't know how I feel about this year but am thankful that this semester is almost over and I get another chance to restart/regroup. Am taking 3 classes this summer, one being Chemistry (I hate the sciences!).
I'm just looking to 2012 and graduating, finally completing something...excited for being an adult. ;)

I've never been short on confidence.. I'm pretty awesome if I do say so! ;) But I have had some doubts after many failed relationships, been worried that with all my greatness comes to many flaws..I'm high maintenance, moody, bossy, have love issues...and lately I've been worried that no guy could put up with me, that eventually everyone would leave me. I have finally realized, that yes I have flaws that I need to work on but not for other people to love me but for me to continue growing and improving. I don't have to change or simmer down who I really am for someone to love me and not leave me. Such a good awww moment!

Saturday oh how I love thee! Slept in, then met one of my fav friends for lunch, then headed to the wine fest...but before we got there we sidetracked at this really great winery. Drank too much wine and was at home by eight, lol. I am officially old and boring.
One more week of this semester and then we are in May and I can't wait!

I got a fish!

A. bought me a fish, his name is Brady (after Tom Brady cuz I heart him!) and he's very cute and colorful! :)

Not much to blog about these days, my life is pretty boring but I'm loving it! I did get a better teaching job, and registered for next semester, and have re-started my detox, and I found out that I won't lose my financial aid (I was worried due to this being such a bad semester fro me)...hopefully I can get back to being me and not funky me. ;)
And there have been some bumps..me being my destructive relationship self..but A is sticking around no matter what and staying strong, and spoiling the crap out of me..he's such a great bf!
Today requires a happy dance!!! :)

Oh and yesterday A gave me a card; "Sometimes life surprises you with how close it is to your dreams...You're everything I imagined and more." "I'm so happy that I found the BEST a man could want."

my happy place..

..laying in a hammock, reading a book and drinking a glass of wine!

time flies..

Today is a month A and I have been together...crazy! We had a little outing today and went to White Sands... I love so much seeing Zoey happy and carefree, like a dog should be..then we came home and played 80's scene it and drank beer. :)
Yesterday I went out with one of my friends and it was perfect...drinking wine on the patio, eating bread, talking and the smell of rain. Randomly some "gay" guys (I use the term loosely because I've never met gay guys that hit on girls so blatantly..I was told that I gave them a mini boner and how fab my boobs where..OMG!) ended up joining us and shenanigans ensued. Love my life!

I don't have baby fever, instead I have puppy fever...I so am wanting another boxer!!

I think I may finally be getting out of my rut.... applied for a better teaching job and crossing my fingers, registered for Fall and its a fresh new semester to get back in track, and am enjoying being domesticated and boring. I just need to breathe and enjoy the good, full life!
Oh and I'm writing this book report..and here is the irony, it's on time management. I'm the worst at that, at not procrastinating, at not getting distracted. Rather then actually reading the book and letting it soak in so I could learn something...I am bsing it along because I waited till the last second to do it...and why is that, because I watched every episode of Prison Break for a week. lol

{quote}

"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two."

Alice in Wonderland

Last night was my theme party and I had a lot of fun, loved my costume and now am ready to have a million theme parties. :)
However people suck....so many people bailed at the last minute.
I am definitely getting to the point in my life, finally, where I'm just happy being at home with my family..over going out, drinking a lot. Parties at your house are great cuz I get the best of both worlds..and its always fab when you can be somewhere without shoes!

action plan.

So I have set up a plan to get myself from being such a pile..hopefully it is just mental and nothing is actually wrong with me, I have a fear of diabetes.
1. Exercise.
2. Get better school job.
3. Re-focus on school since I have completely become side-tracked this semester.
4. Eat healthier-then make the transition to Vegetarian.
5. Enjoy the people in my life that matter and stop stressing about the ones that don't.
6. Breathe and just be happy in the moment.
7. Re-join my bible study, like school it has fallen through the waist side this semester.
8. Curb some addictions...like sweets and tv.
9. Re-group....I have a very full and blessed life but I need to figure out how to balance it all, without letting things fall aside.
{School, work, family, friends, and me time}

The blahs.

I haven't been feeling myself lately..so tired, unmotivated, grouchy, constant headache, completely uninterested in going out....I don't know what's wrong and it's starting to bug me!! I'm not stressed, not unhappy..actually very content with how things have turned out, my life feels very calm and perfect. Is that the problem? I don't know how to be stable and undramatic....

{quote}

This is what I have...

"Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you' re just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have YOU... The one who turns to his friends and says, that's her..."

easter eggs...

I love being a child still, doing dumb holiday things, like coloring eggs! :) A's niece and I colored like fifty eggs tonight and was so much fun...now I can't wait to have my own little family.

{quote}

What should have been a good day, with great plans and some priceless words, turned into the worst night...sitting at a hot bar, not drinking, alone, miserable and counting down the seconds till we could leave. But I realized that I am getting older and I am done with going out and drinking all the time, tired of the scene, tired of seeing my ex every time I go out and just tired. I think Vanessa has finally grown up and is settling down, ready to stay put somewhere, ready to have a family..and of course I'll always be me, a social drinker who loves to have fun but in moderation now.